North Korea, Best Korea!
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
