this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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