i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
