She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
