I wish I could punch you in the face.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
