I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
