Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize