We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
