Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
