he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
