you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
