So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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