Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
