my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
