great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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