And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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