If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
