his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
