are you still at the devil's house?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
