"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
