I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
