i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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