I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize
