Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
What a dumb baby whore.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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