I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Are we still banned from the library?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
