i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
