Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
