Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm really busy with my period
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