You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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