You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
