She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
