Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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