Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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