I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
They are going to name an STD after you.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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