ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize