are you still at the devil's house?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
