real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
