Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
