I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
