I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
