Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize