Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
