the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
