Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
