Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
