Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
