Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
