is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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