my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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