A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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