On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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