bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
