I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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