4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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