You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
