I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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