I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
