that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you didnt know i had herpes?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
