yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
