I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
