I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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