Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
