that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
