i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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