I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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