one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
