We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize