Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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