ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
