They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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