i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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