I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
